Family, Life Course, and Society Commons^™

The Case For Marriage Preparation, Jeremy Boyle, Stephen F. Duncan

Forever Families

Marriage enrichment pioneer David Mace once remarked, "Marriage is the deepest and potentially the most gratifying of all human relationships, but it’s also one of the most demanding. Unfortunately couples seldom have more preparation than a little advice from their parents and a new set of china."

The Benefits Of Chastity Before Marriage, Christine Baker, Jill Cox, Stephen F. Duncan

Forever Families

Nearly every religion teaches the principle of chastity before marriage, but fewer and fewer people are observing it. The Family: A Proclamation to the World teaches that "God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife" (¶ 4) and that "children are entitled to birth within the bounds of matrimony" (¶ 7).

Purchasing In Partnerships: Financial Keys To A More Merry Marriage, David B. Allsop, Stephen F. Duncan

Forever Families

As married couples, we make purchases all the time. Most of the time we are pleased with our purchases. At other times we wish our precious cash would not have been wasted. Because purchases are often made in marriages and those decisions in turn influence relationships, it is important to understand what contributes to a financially happy marriage. This article describes the role that communication, equal partnership, the value of purchases to both spouses, financial reasoning and avoiding the wrong motivation have in making purchases and marriage more satisfactory. It also describes the importance of balance between being a lover …

Money Harmony For Newlywed Couples And Engaged Couples, Todd Martin, Stephen F. Duncan

Forever Families

Young married life should be a joyful time, but conflict over money often interferes. For newlyweds under the age of 30, debt brought into the marriage is the number one cause of conflict. To avoid the unhappiness and divorce this conflict can cause, newly married and engaged couples should take steps to minimize money conflict and maximize money harmony in their relationships.

Navigating The Dating Wilderness, Shelece Mcallister, Jason S. Carroll, Stephen F. Duncan

Forever Families

The Family: A Proclamation to the World teaches us that "marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God... Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan" (¶1, 7). Most young adults have a desire to marry and one day have a family of their own. However, the process of dating and seeking a marriage partner can be daunting, and sometimes finding your spouse can seem an impossible task. Don't give up hope! It is possible to successfully navigate the wilderness of the dating world and make it to the promised land.

Helping Children Resist Marital Myths, Ann-Mae Ridley, Stephen F. Duncan

Forever Families

A good marriage is one of the most fulfilling experiences life can offer, but it doesn't come easily. Unrealistic expectations are one of the toughest obstacles to a good marriage. One study showed that 71% of married couples have unrealistic ideas about marriage7.

Important Factors To Consider Before Taking The Marriage Plunge, Jeffry Larson

Forever Families

The high divorce rate (about 40% of first marriages end in divorce) in the United States and the resulting concern with marrying the right person at the right time makes selecting someone to marry an especially important contemporary issue for single adults. But what predicts if you will be happily married or not?

Marriage Readiness: Packing For Beyond The Honeymoon, Rachel Baguley Shaw, Jason Carroll, Stephen F. Duncan

Forever Families

What will you bring to marriage? Before you start packing for your honeymoon, make sure you are adequately packed for your marriage.

The Family Proclamation emphasizes the sacred responsibility of spouses to love and care for one another and their children. Providing that love and care isn't always easy, and it's critical that you are ready for your new roles.

All of us were educated about marriage through our families of origin, for better or for worse. Whether your upbringing was healthy or not so healthy, there's always room for improvement. As you look for a prospective spouse, or if …

Equal Partnership In Marriage, Adrian Selle, Stephen F. Duncan

Forever Families

The Family: A Proclamation to the World teaches that fathers and mothers have specific, God-ordained responsibilities within an equal partnership, with neither husband nor wife seeking to dominate the other.

When partners in a marriage value equality, they see each other as equals, treat each other with respect, consider each other’s needs, and support one another. Equal partners agree on goals together and work as a team to achieve these goals. They show equal commitment to the relationship and provide mutual support and nurturing. Each values the other’s work life as highly as his or her own, even if that …

Strengthening Interfaith Marriage, Jeremy Boyle, Stephen F. Duncan

Forever Families

For many couples religion unifies and strengthens their marriage. For others, it tears them apart. When individuals from two different religions marry, they sometimes begin a lifetime of disagreements that can be devastating to the sacred union of marriage.

Dealing With Depression In Marriage, Jaelynn R. Jenkins, Alan Springer, Stephen F. Duncan

Forever Families

With an estimated 17 million Americans suffering from a depressive illness13, it is safe to say that mental illness is one of the most painful and persistent trials that a family will face8. The American Medical Association considers it the most incapacitating of chronic conditions in relation to social functioning12. More than one in ten people will suffer a serious depression at some point in their life; however nearly two-thirds do not get the help they need9, 13.

Strengthening Later Life Marriage, Mary A. Sotsich, Rick B. Miller

Forever Families

A marriage that lasts through the years brings couples a sense of accomplishment, security, and comfort. Sometimes, though, security and comfort can make it easy to fall into the "old shoe syndrome," where married life becomes dull and partners take one another for granted. Treating a lasting marriage with the appreciation it deserves might be compared to seeing old, worn shoes as "plush suede" or "buttery-soft leather." Just as a proud owner of such shoes would never slosh them through a mud puddle but would carefully protect them, so should long-married couples give their partnership the deep regard it deserves.

Use And Harms Of Pornography, Amber Brewer, Rachel Jamieson, Jill Christine Manning, Rory C. Reid

Forever Families

To say the least, pornography is a controversial and confusing subject. Researchers, politicians, pornography producers, pornography consumers, those acquainted with consumers, and those passively exposed to erotic media (through everyday movies, advertisements, and internet pop-ups) have differing opinions and values toward pornography.

Making The Case For Marriage, Jennifer Crockett, Marissa Beebe, Stephen F. Duncan

Forever Families

In a recent report from the National Marriage Project, scholars David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead wrote, "Marriage is a fundamental social institution. It is central to the nurture and raising of children. It is the ‘social glue’ that reliably attaches fathers to children. It contributes to the physical, emotional and economic health of men, women and children, and thus to the nation as a whole. It is also one of the most highly prized of all human relationships and a central life goal of most Americans."

Strengthening Marriage Through Marriage Enrichment Programs, Bradley Owens, Stephen F. Duncan

Forever Families

The Family: A Proclamation to the World states that marriage partners have "a solemn obligation to love and care for each other" (¶ 6). This love and care requires intentional effort. One way to make this effort is through marriage enrichment programs.

Couples That Play Together Stay Together, Staci Albrechtsen, Stephen F. Duncan

Forever Families

The famous saying "families that play together stay together" could also extend to include "couples that play together stay together." Joint leisure activity and recreation are the fancy names experts use to describe play. In other words, they describe adults having a fun time together. Play is not just for kids. You are never too old to participate in wholesome, fun, recreational activities, and doing so has benefits.

Nurturing Love And Respect In Marriage, Megan Northrup, Stephen F. Duncan

Forever Families

The Family: A Proclamation to the World reminds us that we have an obligation to love and serve our marriage partner. To love them effectively, we have to know and understand their inner world—their likes, dislikes, thoughts, and feelings. Taking the time to do this and then acting on what we learn is a powerful way to nurture love and respect in our marriage. Researcher John Gottman1 calls this process enhancing our "love maps."

Increasing Intimacy In Marriage, Derek Willis Hagey, Amber L. Brewer, Rachel V. Jamieson, Robert F. Stahmann, Stephen F. Duncan

Forever Families

Intimacy is the closeness of your relationship with your spouse -- emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, sexually, and in many other ways. Intimacy is not an end goal but rather a journey that lasts throughout your marriage. Marriage and family researchers Schaefer and Olson4 describe attaining intimacy as "a process that occurs over time and is never completed or fully accomplished" (p. 50). As you both grow and develop, each of you changes. If you neglect intimacy in your marriage, you will grow apart. The time to work on intimacy is now.

Creating Shared Meaning, Megan Northrup, Stephen F. Duncan

Forever Families

Culture is not limited to countries or nations. Even two people who share a life together can create their own culture. They can have customs, traditions, stories, and beliefs that bind them and give meaning to their life together.

Building A Fondness And Admiration System, Megan Northrup, Stephen F. Duncan

Forever Families

No one's perfect, including you and the person you're married to. Maybe she squeezes the toothpaste from the middle or he leaves the toilet seat up. Maybe she is bull-headed and he is annoyingly indecisive. Maybe one of you is a workaholic and another spends too much money.

Strengthening Your Relationship With Regular "Couple Meetings", Stephen F. Duncan

Forever Families

Our country is more health-conscious than ever. Millions seek out a variety of health assessments, ranging from simple blood pressure checks to a thorough analysis of blood chemistry. The result: America's health is better than ever.

Moving From Gridlock To Dialogue, Megan Northrup, Stephen F. Duncan

Forever Families

Do you feel hopelessly stuck over a problem that you and your spouse just can't solve? If so, learning to cope with the conflict may seem impossible, and you might fear your relationship is doomed. But don't despair. Many couples learn to deal with their gridlocked problems and build happy, successful relationships.

Handling Conflict In Marriage, Trampas J. Rowden, Stephen F. Duncan

Forever Families

Disagreements and arguments crop up in even the best marriages. It's how conflict is handled that is an important key to marital success or failure.

Current research confirms that poorly handled conflict between married couples can negatively influence mental, physical, and family health. Feelings of anger, bitterness, and unhappiness (sometimes leading to separation and divorce) often result.

But couples need not settle for these experiences. Partners can realize, as stated in The Family: A Proclamation to the World, that "marriage between a man and woman is ordained of God" (¶ 1) and that successful and happy marriages "are established …

Baby Makes Three, Amberlie Lane, Stephen F. Duncan

Forever Families

Expecting the first baby is an exciting time for most couples. Most couples understand that having a baby will call for certain sacrifices, but many don’t fully comprehend the challenges their marriage will face once two become three. The Family: A Proclamation to the World states that “husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to care for each other and for their children” (¶ 6). While babies do bring joy and rejoicing, they can be demanding and stressful. In these circumstances, attending to the baby’s needs may take precedence over caring for one’s spouse.

Immunized Against Infidelity: "Affair-Proofing" Your Marriage, Megan Northrup, Robert F. Stahmann, Stephen F. Duncan

Forever Families

The Family: A Proclamation to the World emphasizes the sacredness of marriage and declares that men and women should "honor marital vows with complete fidelity" (¶ 7). The importance of fidelity and God's disapproval of adultery have been emphasized throughout the Judeo-Christian scriptural tradition.

Coping With The Chronic Illness Of A Spouse, Shelece Mcallister, Susanne Olsen Roper, Stephen F. Duncan

Forever Families

Sometimes couples are faced with problems they do not anticipate. One such issue is that of chronic illness. A chronic illness is a medical condition that lasts for a long time, sometimes for the rest of someone's life. Chronic illnesses include conditions like diabetes, arthritis, and cancer, among many others. Chronic illnesses may appear quickly or gradually, and they are often unexpected. As a couple, be informed about the illness you are facing. Seek out information from your doctor and from reputable medical websites. Organizations may exist to help those with your spouse's chronic illness. Learning about the condition will …

Everyday Marriage, Rachel Loser, Stephen F. Duncan

Forever Families

Everyday marriage is what most marriages are used to. As couples learn to love everyday marriage, they will find their marriage satisfying, renewing, and nourishing.

Helpful Resources For Pornography Addictions And Other Problematic Sexual Behaviors, Jill Christine Manning

Forever Families

This workbook is acompanion to In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior (2001). The book is well-laid out and has a professional tone throughout. The approach is holistic in that it takes into consideration one's stage of change, level of self-awareness, relapse prevention, triggers, psychological defenses, relationship patterns and lifestyle factors. The workbook also goes into quite a bit of detail as to why sexual behavior online is problematic.

Benefits Of Couple Prayer, Andrew S. Brimhall, Mark Butler

Forever Families

Prayer can be defined as a two-way personal communication between an individual or couple and God. It is a vibrant, vital link with a Supreme Being that gives meaning to a person's life. Prayer allows individuals, couples, and families to come closer to God through healing. Prayer can be meditative (silent), colloquial (asking for abstract things like guidance or forgiveness), petitionary (asking for materialistic things), or ritual (memorized or read from a book). While it can be all of these things, it can also enrich the quality of marriage and family life. In fact, The Family: A Proclamation to the …

Staying Connected With Each Other, Megan Northrup, Stephen F. Duncan

Forever Families

Each of the below mini-scenarios represents a couple connecting in some small way:

• When Russ walks in the door, Carol looks up from her newspaper and says, "How was your day?"
• When Christine and Steven are walking down the grocery aisle he asks, "Aren't we almost out of milk?"
• When Jay peers over Liz's shoulder to see what she's doing, she turns and gives him a quick kiss on the chin.