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Kiss/Caress, Laurie Green

Ought: The Journal of Autistic Culture

Like many aspects of self, my sexuality remained under wraps for the first three decades of my life. I felt desexualised in my body, unaware of my autism but deeply aware of my alienation and social position. Unable to find a sexual reflection in popular culture and bombarded with tropes of toxic masculinity I turned my sexual desires inwards. Only with my closest confidant, my partner, did any semblance of sexuality emerge, mediated by images and symbols imbibed as a teenager. My deep desire for connection that extended into sexuality felt ossified and unaired—kept in an air-sealed wrapper, like a …