Social and Behavioral Sciences Commons^™

Reimagining My Body, Center For Public Service

SURGE

I stood there, shoulders slouched, elbows locked, hands glued to the side of the toilet. My body convulsing, I told myself, “this is the last time, just one more time and you’ll get back on track tomorrow.” It wasn’t the last time. I had been forcing myself to purge for months at this point, and each time I hated myself for it.

It was something I couldn’t control. It wasn’t out of a need for attention as so commonly thought, but a pure need to be the unreachable level of thin that I thought would make me beautiful. I was …

What My Muffin Top Has To Say To You, Hannah M. Frantz, Elizabeth A. Rupert

SURGE

My name is Hannah, and I have a confession to make. I hate working out—none of that sweat, panting, exhaustion, and sore muscles for me, no thank you. I’m embarrassed to go to a gym because I assume that everyone judges my speed, pacing, and weight lifting. I try to encourage myself by shopping for brightly colored running shorts and funky sports bras, but, honestly, it’s a fruitless endeavor. Because at the end of the day, I just don’t like to exercise.

So why do I do it?

Because I want to be skinny. [excerpt]