Social and Behavioral Sciences Commons^™

Γλύκοπικρος & Bittersweet: An Autoethnographic Approach To Studying Abroad In Greece, Margaret Rieckman

Honors Theses

The purpose of this study is to answer the question: How can reflection via an autoethnographic approach promote sought-after outcomes of a semester studying abroad? Through an anthropological lens, I completed field work, kept field notes, and wrote a reflexive blog to navigate the social processes of learning to belong in another place within the context of a multicultural environment of study abroad program with Erasmus students. Through autoethnography as a methodology and a text, I utilized linguistic analysis to identify key themes that represent my transformative experience. The personal, emotional, and intellectual growth I experienced was made transformative by …

Writing Others’ Stories: Autoethnographic Reflections On Historical Research, Representation, And Bakhtin, Jennifer L. Adams

Communication & Theatre Faculty Publications

I use autoethnographic reflection to explore the personal and professional ethical challenges that have emerged over twenty years working with a set of one hundred historic love letters found discarded in an attic. Concerns of representation, narration, and authorship of the Other(s) by historic researchers are explored. Bakhtin’s concept of answerability is then elucidated as a means of reflecting upon choices writers make in researching of the lived experience of everyday people from the past. Issues including authorial responsibility, heteroglossia, polyphony, and the chronotope are explored.

Communicating Fragmented Memories: Explorations Of Trauma As Autoethnographic Bridges, Alberta Natasia Adji

Research outputs 2014 to 2021

Through an experience of reading, researching and interacting with people with different cultural backgrounds in academia, I explore autoethnographically how my personal experience can offer a way to contemplate connections and disassociations of cultural memory in relation to the May 1998 Riots of Indonesia. I attempt to show how disruptive events can bring the traumatic memories back into current consciousness both within individual lives and in the challenges that Jakarta as a city has in coming to terms with the dead and raped bodies that were the result of the country’s denial of its practices of violence. Disturbing memories emerge …

Divine Narcissism: Raising A Secure Middle-Aged Adult, Rachel Sachs Riverwood

Antioch University Dissertations & Theses

Utilizing an arts-based feminist autoethnographic stance and method, this dissertation is an evocative exploration of the process and experience of attempting to develop a cohesive identity and build a secure attachment to the self. The author uses countercultural methods—prioritizing and centralizing her experience and uncovering and acting in defiance of oppressive norms—to identify and experience their impact on her identity and intra- and inter- personal relationships. Various tensions are explored, including the suppression of self and desire, self-objectification, fearful-avoidant attachment, and shame; and their influence on engaging in emotional and sexual intimacy is examined. Critique on the role of female …

Found In The World: An Autoethnographic Exploration Of How Place Influences The Growing Formation Of One’S Identity, Sydney Atkins

Independent Study Project (ISP) Collection

This paper incorporates both background information on place, human identity, and the African term Ubuntu, as well as personal stories from interviewees, to attempt to understand how both the physical location as well as human relationships aid in the growing formation of one’s identity. The stories synthesized in this paper come from individuals living in Cato Manor, as well as my own personal experiences living in Colorado, Louisiana, and South Africa. I conducted six interviews with participants ranging in age and gender. I asked them to share their stories with me when answering questions about their personal relationship to Cato …

Journeying Into The Well: An Autoethnography Of 35 Retreats Across Two Decades, E. James Baesler

Communication & Theatre Arts Faculty Publications

In this autoethnography I narrate the story of my retreat experiences and spiritual practices at the Well Retreat Center over a span of two decades. The Well is both a geographical place in the Isle of Wright County in Virginia, and a metaphor for a spiritual journey into the inner Well of our being. I chronicle an amalgam of 35 retreats in one 24-hour retreat, narrating stories about: leaving home and settling in, dreaming and awakening, sunrise and sunset, walking in nature and walking the narrow path, discovering life behind a cracked door, and uncovering the mystery that lies at …

Kumain Na Tayo! Exploring The Role Of Food In Communicating Tradition And Instilling Familial Values, Aaron Negrillo

Student Research

As a core part of Asian values, family plays a huge role in developing the individual’s identity. Family strongly contributes to the passing down of traditions and values. The expression of cultural values can be observed through many surface-level interactions such as food and meal rituals. This auto-ethnography explores the link between food and culture, specifically how it serves as a vehicle of communication that passes down traditions and values. The underlying core values of hospitality, respect, and sacrifice stand emerged from the thematic analysis conducted. Overall, food can be understood as a tangible expression of love: creating something for …

The Formation Of Queer Consciousness In Gay, Latin, Men: How Experiences Affect The Lives Of Queer Latinos, Daniel Leon-Barranco

Student Scholar Symposium Abstracts and Posters

I am interested in investigating the question: How does experience, in a Latinx environment, affect the “coming out” process for queer, Latinx, men? Additionally, the aim of this research is to discover whether Queer Latinx peoples retain their cultural identity/consciousness or abandon it. This project is relevant to analyze whether Latinx culture impacts peoples to abstain from or retain their cultural identity/consciousness. I also hope that this research can prove whether an amalgamation of standpoint theory and Situated Knowledge can come together to affect the process of (re)claiming identity; as the Latinx man claims their sexual identity. This research aims …

In The Name Of Merit: Racial Violence In The Academy, Reshmi Dutt-Ballerstadt

Faculty Publications

Racial violence in the academy is enacted upon faculty of color, particularly women, in multiple disciplines. This essay attempts to both expose and suggest that everyday systemic racism has become a pervasive and normalizing feature within disciplines that continue to privilege white and Eurocentric forms of knowledge-making while devaluing others. Furthermore, attempts to challenge such supremacies are immediately countered by calls and charges of incivility. This is an essay about the costs of unmasking norms of civility as it bears upon constructions of both whiteness and meritocracy.

Shush: A Creative (Re)Construction, Kathleen Spring

Faculty & Staff Publications

Shush: A Creative (Re)Construction stems from work conducted during a sabbatical in fall 2017. The audio piece, Shush Me Awake, is a composition that explores the shush as a performative act. The accompanying framing essay uses an autoethnographic approach to provide a contextualized look at the composition process for this piece, while simultaneously situating it within existing scholarship in library and information studies on the image of the librarian and stereotypes. The composer notes provide additional technical details about the audio piece itself.

The Mountain Stands: An Autoethnographic Inquiry Into Zulu Christians' Approaches To Spiritual Health, Makayla Lagerman

Independent Study Project (ISP) Collection

Spiritual health is a vital component of individual wellness that can be described in many ways; most commonly, it is thought of as the connectivity of the inner spirit to others, the world, transcendental beings, and more. From personal experience, I know that the state of my spiritual wellbeing can greatly impact my physical and mental health. For this reason, actively considered how to think about spiritual health for one of the first times in my life.

This project sought to explore Zulu Christians’ approaches to spiritual health in concurrence with my own. This was done by interviewing one Swazi …

Searching For The Divine: An Autoethnographic Account Of Religious/Spiritual And Academic Influences On The Journey To Professor, E. James Baesler

Communication & Theatre Arts Faculty Publications

This autoethnographic account chronicles my academic and religious/spiritual path to becoming a professor of Communication. Spiritual influences and significant life events related to prayer, education, teaching, and research serve as sign posts marking the way. The journey begins with a child scientist experimenting with life—and an adolescent discovering the joy of reading through an illness. The journey continues with a crisis in undergraduate years followed by indoctrination stories of graduate school. Securing and retaining an academic position in Communication reveals the complexities of negotiating research and teaching in higher education. After tenure and promotion, a concurrent spiritual awakening begins a …

Queerly Faithful: A Queer-Poet Community Autoethnography On Identity And Belonging In Christian Faith Communities, Eric Van Giessen

Social Justice and Community Engagement

In a cultural climate characterized by increasing polarization and hostility towards difference, the lives and bodies of those standing at the intersection of religious and marginal sexual identities are actively shaped by and reshaping our social and cultural landscape. Cultural narratives that conflate religion with oppression and pit religion against ‘progressive’ political movements create artificial divisions that undermine the efforts of LGBTQI+ people of faith to effect change in their communities by pressuring them to compartmentalize—or closet— their spiritual or sexual selves. These constructions also reinforce discourses that claim there are no queer people in faith communities and no people …

Of All Days: Critical Pedagogy Outside The Classroom, Lisa M. Tillmann Ph.D.

Faculty Publications

A student at the author’s college pens a racist column on immigration for the school newspaper. Two departments, including the author’s, send campus-wide emails denouncing the rhetoric. A firestorm erupts, as much over the emails as over the op-ed. Years later, the student visits the author unannounced.

Father's Blessing: Ethnographic Drama, Poetry, And Prose, Lisa M. Tillmann Ph.D.

Faculty Publications

Following interpretivist traditions focusing on how individuals make sense of and make meaning from their lived experience, the author, a heterosexual woman, travels with a gay male friend/participant to visit his estranged father, a retired Air Force pilot and elder in the Mormon Church. The work attempts to show the dialogic construction, negotiation, and transformation of identities and relationships.

Remembering A Cool September, Lisa M. Tillmann Ph.D.

Faculty Publications

This ethnographic short story chronicles the author’s emotional journey following September 11, 2001. After weeks of disconnection, she encounters a display of patriotism by two gay male friends, provoking her to process what it means to be both patriotic and gay in contemporary U.S. culture.

Revisiting Don/Ovan, Lisa M. Tillmann Ph.D.

Faculty Publications

In this piece, the author, a heterosexual woman, travels to her hometown of Lake City, MN to reconnect with Donovan Marshall, a gay man she last saw in 1986. "Revisiting Don/ovan" explores opportunities and challenges of coming out, leaving, and returning to live in a small town.

State Of Unions: Politics And Poetics Of Performance, Lisa M. Tillmann Ph.D.

Faculty Publications

At the 2005 International Congress of Qualitative Inquiry, the author delivered a poem and slide show, “The State of Unions: Activism (and In-Activism) in Decision 2004.” The performance processed the election in the context of her research community, a network of gay male friends—marginalized by sexual orientation but privileged by sex, gender expression, race, class, and education. Audience members offered mixed responses, some praising its provocative content, others criticizing the author’s position and tone, which some perceived as hostile, even as “gay bashing.”

Don't Ask, Don't Tell: Coming Out In An Alcoholic Family, Lisa M. Tillmann Ph.D.

Faculty Publications

This piece invites readers inside emotional and relational dynamics of coming

out as gay in an alcoholic family system. Taking an interpretive approach to

research, focused on how participants make sense of and make meaning

from their lived experience, “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” offers a longitudinal and

narrative ethnographic account of family secrecy and disclosure.

Passings, Lisa M. Tillmann Ph.D.

Faculty Publications

The author, a heterosexual woman, and Gordon Bernstein, a gay man, have been friends and research collaborators since 1995. In 2004, the author accompanied Gordon on a trip to his hometown of Philadelphia to conduct fieldwork and interview family members. This project ethnographically explored personal and relational opportunities and challenges associated with coming out in a family system defined by avoidant communication, hegemonic masculinity, and terminal illness.

Wedding Album: An Antiheterosexist Performance Text, Lisa M. Tillmann Ph.D.

Faculty Publications

Historical and personal snapshots of weddings become poetic stanzas that advocate for marriage equality and for a social safety net strong enough to protect the human rights and meet the human needs of everyone, regardless of relational—or any other—status

Tapestry Of Tears: An Autoethnography Of Leadership, Personal Transformation, And Music Therapy In Humanitarian Aid In Bosnia Herzegovina, Alpha M. Woodward

Antioch University Dissertations & Theses

In the fall of 2003 I was invited to lead a team of music therapists in Bosnia and Herzegovina (BiH), a country that had been recently savaged by two brutal inter-ethnic wars. The program operated out of the Pavarotti Music Centre on the East side of Mostar, a divided city in the southwest region of BiH. My journey over the next four years was epically challenged by my immersion into the complexities of post-conflict recovery, and the cultural confusion that followed the atrocities of those wars. Transformation and change not only characterized the world in which I worked, but also …

Decolonizing The Empathic Settler Mind: An Autoethnographic Inquiry, Norman George Dale

Antioch University Dissertations & Theses

Public and scholarly analysis of the troubled relations of Natives and non-Natives (settlers) has been predominantly directed to the former, long-framed as “the Indian Problem.” This dissertation takes the different stance of focusing on the mind-sets of settlers and their society in perpetuating the trans-historical trauma and injustice resulting from foundational acts of dispossession.The approach is autoethnographic:after considering the settler world in which I grew up, critical episodes and developments in my career working with British Columbian First Nations are described and analyzed.This includes working with Kwakwaka’wakw, Haida, Wuikinuxv, Nuxalk and Lheidli T’enneh Nations over a 25-year period.I also look …

Decolonizing Texts: A Performance Autoethnography, Hari Stephen Kumar

Masters Theses 1911 - February 2014

I write performance autoethnography as a methodological project committed to evoking embodied and lived experience in academic texts, using performance writing to decolonize academic knowledge production. Through a fragmented itinerary across continents and ethnicities, across religions and languages, across academic and vocational careers, I speak from the everyday spaces in between supposedly stable cultural identities involving race, ethnicity, class, gendered norms, to name a few. I write against colonizing practices which police the racist, sexist, and xenophobic cultural politics that produce and validate particular identities. I write from the intersections of my own living experiences within and against those cultural …

Labor Pains In The Academy, Lisa M. Tillmann Ph.D.

Faculty Publications

This piece offers autoethnographic reflections on crossroads to which many academics come: whether to seek (or postpone or avoid) parenthood and when. The author deeply explores the personal (her own trajectories from daughter and sister to potential mother and from graduate student to full professor) in order to reflect on structural constraints associated with graduate education, the academic job market, and institutional policies and politics.

Not So Black And White: The Color Of Perception In Corporate Layoffs, Carole A. Isom

Antioch University Dissertations & Theses

This research addressed the question of whether or not the perception exists that African Americans are disproportionately impacted during layoff periods within corporations. Portraiture was the selected method of inquiry for this research as it captures the experience of the participants and enables storytelling which is based upon perception as opposed to hard, quantitative data. Additionally, portraiture’s autobiographical roots supported my autoethnographic position, encouraging the artistic process while including aesthetic aspects. Portraiture allowed for the voice of the researcher everywhere: in the assumptions, preoccupations, and frameworks brought to the inquiry; in the questions asked; in the data gathered; in the …

Speaking Into Silences: Autoethnography, Communication, And Applied Research, Lisa M. Tillmann Ph.D.

Faculty Publications

In 2004, two articles in the Journal of Applied Communication Research (Ashcraft & Tretheway, 2004; Goodall, 2004) celebrated the merits of auto- and narrative ethnography, methods of research grounded in lived experience and evocative modes of representation that seek to engage readers emotionally, aesthetically, ethically, and politically. Despite these and other persuasive calls for auto- and narrative ethnographic works, few have been published in communication journals. More than four years ago, JACR offered readers arguments for this kind of scholarship, yet no full-length autoethnography appeared in its pages—until now. This article, a prelude to its companion essay, “Body and Bulimia …

Body And Bulimia Revisited: Reflections On "A Secret Life", Lisa M. Tillmann Ph.D.

Faculty Publications

In 1996, the author published “A Secret Life in a Culture of Thinness: Reflections on Body, Food, and Bulimia” (Tillmann-Healy, 1996), an account of her struggle with binging and purging from ages 15 to 25. She came to understand bulimia as a communicative act, expressing fear, anxiety, and grief. From 25 to 35, her recovery from bulimia involved learning to “purge” emotion through other forms of communication (e.g., dialogue, writing, and teaching). At 35, separation and divorce pose the greatest challenge to the author’s 10-year recovery, yet she does not return to bulimic expression. This article invites readers to sense …

Dialogue As Performance. Performance As Dialogue, Laura Lynn

Antioch University Dissertations & Theses

This dissertation is an arts-based qualitative study in Leadership and Change that describes the qualities of dialogue revealed through the felt experience of Native and non-Native American music composers engaged in a dialogue through music composition. The fifteen co-collaborators who participated in the study range in age from three-years-old to elders. The study is theoretically embedded within Performance Studies, Dr. Carolyn Kenny’s music therapy model Field of Play, and aesthetic philosophy. Methodologically, this work is expressed through performance ethnography and autoethnography and privileges textual and non-textual modes of account including photographs, video excerpts, poetry, and music manuscript. The text is …

Visual Culture Archaeology: A Criti/Politi/Cal Methodology Of Image And Identity, James Haywood Rolling Jr.

Teaching and Leadership - All Scholarship

This study argues the efficacy of the phenomenological cultural work of a visual culture archaeology that liberates a political and critical identity, resistant to domination, authoring social change and its own agency through multiple and incommensurable positions. Built upon Foucauldian premises, visual culture archaeology is developed as a methodology for discursive un-naming and re-naming, and emerges from the inherence and attenuation of inscripted meanings in the reinterpretation of identity during a postmodern confluence of ideas and images. The hybridized representation of the African American in Western visual culture has been unique in the effort by some to define us over …